Gratitude and Ingratitude

As you know, Thursday I found myself on a beach 10 miles from our hotel with my wife and youngest child.  We had no shoes (imagine me shoeless at the police station), no money, phone, doucmentation.  We were in a state of great dependence.  And as I mentioned, a young couple - engineering students - helped us, spending the better part of the afternoon with us rather than on the beach.

Yesterday morning I prayed:  "I am grateful, forgive my ingratitude."  We were truly grateful, there is no doubt about it.  But, as I lay half awake yesterday morning my mind seemingly involuntarily played over and over a hundred "what ifs" games - if only we had done this or that we could have avoided the whole mess.  My mind did not go to the "what ifs" concerning what if the couple hadn't been there, hadn't been willing to help, didn't speak English.  This suggests to me that although I am far along on the journey of faith to laugh at our misfortune and express gratitude for the help given, I am not so far along on the journey to have this attitude of gratitude embedded in my very fiber.  Gratitude is still a conscious act of will rather than a deeply ingrained habit - a complete openess tothe gifts given.

"I am grateful, forgive my ingratitude."