Finding Joy in the Midst of Darkness

Emilie Lemmons died of cancer just before Christmas, leaving behind a husband and two small children.  Although we are fast approaching Ordinary Time, her words from Advent, filled with a wisdom gained by fully embracing reality, are worth reading any time of the year.  Here is a snippet:

“On a recent Sunday morning at Mass, I was glancing at the program and saw an invitation to participate in the Advent liturgy with ‘a joyous heart, mind and spirit.’

Immediately, I became angry. How on earth can a person with stage 4 cancer that is progressively getting worse feel joyous, I thought. My resentment seethed, and I sat like a hard stone all through Mass.

When the intentions mentioned those who are ill, I identified myself immediately and felt like such an outsider — just like the homeless people and other people on the fringes with whom I was lumped in the same intention. I felt miles away from normal, and it was hard to accept.

*          *          *

I burst into tears as soon as I opened the package. And while I knew they were tears of joy, they felt as if they were coming from the same place deep inside me where my sorrow dwells. It was as if joy and sorrow were intermingled in an intense response to life.

Maybe that is what Rachel Naomi Remen means when she writes, ‘Joy seems more closely related to aliveness than to happiness.’

Maybe I am capable of experiencing joy after all. Maybe I don’t need to approach joy with resentment. Maybe that message is what my Advent light is illuminating. I pray that I can enter into the lesson God is trying to teach me."

You can read Emilie’s blog posts here.

HT:  María Ruiz Scaperlanda