Doubt and Christianity

I’ve been reflecting on Rob’s statement of December 20 that he experiences anguish from “uncertainty about whether the Christian story to which I have committed myself is actually true.” It reminded me of Hans Kung’s wonderful book “Why I Am Still a Christian,” which argues that those in doubt have a choice to make about the existence of God: would you rather believe that there is no meaning in the universe or that there is a meaning and that you have a role to play in it? William James made a similar argument and Charles Taylor does so as well. Kung makes a similar argument with respect to Christ. It was a major factor in my return to the church. Nonetheless, it must be said that the idea to which we commit (except to the extent we stray) that God became man is a truly fantastic (but beautiful and surprisingly well founded) story. The existence of doubt even by saints should not be surprising.

I must admit though, I find the salvation story to be problematic to the extent it depends upon the notion of a permanent hell (which strikes me without divine vision as utterly disproportionate for almost anything one might do on earth). If hell is merely eternal death, however, (a view held by some theologians) and heaven is closeness to God in the hereafter, then a permanent hell strikes me as not unfair. If hell is permanent punishment (not just death) and a realistic possibility for many human beings, I can imagine someone in doubt preferring to believe that the universe has no meaning.

In the end, I believe that living a life in order to get to heaven or to avoid hell is not living a life for the right reasons. Living a life according to the two great commandments (with an effort to play a small role in bringing about the kingdom of God) because it is in our nature to do so and because God has instructed us to do so seems far better than living a good life for selfish instrumental reasons.