PAT ROBERSTON AD ABSURDUM ...

PAT ROBERTSON URGES U.S. TO COVET CHAVEZ’ WIFE
Televangelist Breaks Second Commandment in Two Days

One day after Pat Robertson called for the U.S. to assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, the televangelist raised the ante again today, urging the U.S. to covet President Chavez’ wife. In so doing, Mr. Robertson appeared to contradict two of The Ten Commandments in as many days, having flouted “Thou shat not kill” on Monday. Speaking on the television program he hosts, “The 700 Club,” Mr. Robertson lashed out at the Venezuelan strongman once more, telling his audience, “It’s high time that the United States coveted Hugo Chavez’ wife.” Warming to his topic, the opinionated preacher added, “And while we’re at it, we should covet his house, his manservant, his maidservant, his ox and his ass, for that matter.” Mr. Robertson indicated that all of the coveting he referred to would not require a war, arguing that it could be all done through the use of covert operatives within Venezuela. “We could send some special ops guys down there, and bang-bang, covet all of that stuff,” Mr. Robertson told his audience. Speaking to reporters after the program, Mr. Robertson was unrepentant about having broken two of the Ten Commandments in two days, telling them, “I fully intend to obey the other eight, and eight out of ten ain’t bad.” But the televangelist seemed to waver from that position slightly, telling reporters that the U.S. should “bear false witness against Hugo Chavez and dishonor Hugo Chavez’s mother and father.”

[From the Borowitz Report, 8.24.05.]