Thoughts About Blogging

I log onto our blog, and have a few thoughts and some reactions - why can’t I bring myself to really jump in and post? At first I thought it was because up until recently I have been too busy to take the time to sufficiently think out my reactions. But now it’s Spring Break, and I do have some time. Perhaps I am overly cautious… Usually before I publish something I ask at least five or six friends to read it over and react, and then I usually make a heap of changes. The thought of “publishing” onto the anonymous world-wide-web what still feel like random thoughts goes against my cautious grain.

But then, musing a bit more, I realized my hesitation was even deeper than that. Perhaps the specific person to whom my thoughts may be addressed won’t have time for a while to listen - someone else may jump in, and the person to whom my thoughts were originally addressed may get lost in the shuffle. Or maybe my response is based on a misunderstanding of what the other person was trying to say - and the blog feels like an awkward and somewhat too public forum to work towards understanding one another.

And who know how else my approach to the conversation is shaped by the thought that other nameless folks may read our exchange? Then I realized what was bothering me was that it all had a sort of “reality-TV” feel - am I really talking to a specific person, or to an anonymous mass? If an anonymous mass is present, can we really have a conversation without being too self-conscious?

I’m sure I am over-thinking this… but perhaps it is a more feminine reaction to the medium. Before I talk to someone, I want to make sure they are ready to listen, and if not, I’d rather wait. (for this reason, I like personal email - it can wait). I want a personal connection - a chance to apologize if perhaps I wasn’t listening well enough, and ask more questions, get further clarification on your thoughts - all dimensions which seem to require a not-too-public forum. Then, when I publish something for a broader community, I hope what I write reflects an effort to think carefully about the audience and the anticipated questions, the need for further explanations and backgrounds, etc. - a process which strikes me as a very different forum than a personal exchange. So I’m having a lot of trouble with the way the blog medium merges the two.

Please don’t take this as a criticism - I think the blog is a wonderful idea as a way to keep each other informed about scholarship and events - and genuinely do want to understand how this kind of technology can further the conversation and exchange. But I just haven’t yet been able to put together how to use this kind of technology and still maintain a hoped for personal dimension and personal connection.

If anyone can help me with this (or has similar thoughts) I am all ears.

Thanks for listening, Amy